At the first wedding I attended here, after the vows, the pastor took the hand of the groom and joined it with the hand of the bride and I was expecting to hear, “you may kiss your bride”. Alas, hand holding is the most affection any will show in public, and then, only reserved for the happy couple at a wedding.
But this wedding was different.
Her extended family arrived first – along with this traditional basket of food –with a really cool handle!
Apparently, the basket was made by her grandmother’s father. So it is old. Things don’t often last long enough to be passed down, it appears, but this seems to be a real family heirloom. The family had prepared the food and cooked it (in a motu – yam parceled in banana leaf and roasted on hot stones covered in more banana leaf and sacks.) Then it was placed in this basket and taken to the venue.
Then after a while the groom’s family arrived… without the groom. He was working. But they promised he would come soon. Originally he told them to just pay the bride price and bring her to his house… Eventually he turned up and the bartering began. Although he was nowhere in sight and neither was she.
So the uncles (the bride’s father is no longer with the family) and groom’s uncles made many speeches about how much the bride price would be. The bride’s family wanted 10 000 shell money. Well, the groom’s family said they could only afford 7 000 because of school fees and the hardships facing them. Then the brides family came back to say, well, we’ve put her through school, she’s a hard worker…From our position in the cheap seats, I was starting to wonder if the wedding would go ahead at all. We were all discussing this whole business of bride price… what’s a normal price etc. Jair’s friend said that some people charge up to 20 000 shell money – now that’s a lot. But it all depends on what kind of woman she is – does she work hard, is she a good cook, good at gardening and carrying firewood etc. Ignorantly we asked, what if she’s pretty (naesbola) – do they get extra for her? The locals laughed at us. Why would you pay more for a pretty girl? She doesn’t necessarily work harder, does she! Looks don’t matter, it appears, when buying a wife. How different from our culture when even Christian girls (and guys!) wouldn’t even consider someone as a prospect unless they have some appeal to the eyes.
Well, this discussion between the parties went on for quite some time, while the groom was talking to his rellies and the bride was in the room, not wanting to come out, I think because of what she had to wear. Eventually, they came to an agreement of 7000 shell money and the groom came out and then the bride was summoned. She’s a very modest young lady, as are most young ladies are here. So she wasn’t so happy that she had to wear the customary shells with just a bra and her skirt. Her skin was oiled for the occasion.
After a few more speeches about how they were married they went into the leaf house for
a church ceremony. I had to feed Theresa, so I don’t know what happened there….
Afterwards, her family lifted up their traditional food basket and made a whole lot of noise, carrying it around, until they put it down and distributed the yam. Yum. Yam.
So that was the wedding. I thought they’d stay and eat at SWIM and then I would have shown you a banana leaf plate filled with all good things – cassava pudding, motu pork, big lumps of motu kumara and yam, cabbage cooked in with coconut so that it looks like spinach and feta tart. But alas, they took it all home to eat it…
But I will finish with this photo – one of the uncles from the province. You can’t see it, but he’s got traditional tattoo markings all over his face, the way the heathens of old do it. I mean he is old, so it was probably done when he was a young man before missionaries came or something.
But he looked a bit out of place in the particular clothes he's wearing. Such a mix of old and new.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Make this post a conversation! What do you think? I'd love to hear from you!
Lauretta